Guess who's coming to class?

So it's about 20 minutes into my 2nd period class, that moment when I'm trying to get everyone started on their computer projects, answer questions, and magically re-teach an entire lesson in mere minutes...
Hey, let's "unschool"!
Oh, now I get it! All these parents who I thought were uninvolved (perhaps even incompetent) are actually just toying around with the "unschooling" concept! They don't make their kids come to school when they don't want to, don't make them do their homework, don't care if their class work is missing, and set no limits, expectations or consequences...
Please welcome....

One of our counselors sent out an email today to let us know that a new student will be starting with us tomorrow. She is transferring over from another middle school that is nearby but not in our district....
Stripper pole in her bedroom?
Why . . . why in heaven's name does a 13 year-old need to have fingernails like this? Do her parents have her in some early-admission stripper training program? (And yes, these nails do offer a marvelous...
Test tube babies, Pt. 1

I've said for a long time that this job would be much easier without the parents. Like if all our students just sprung from test tubes . . . what a relief! How that would simplify things!In my years...