School Me: Lessons I Didn't Want to Learn

Day off

I need a day off. I know that it's Sunday night and I've just had two days off, but sometimes that's just not enough. Besides, I have so much school work to do that it fills one whole day itself. (Have I mentioned how much I hate yearbook deadlines? They're right up the with "report card weekend." Which is next weekend, unfortunately.)

Teachers don't get to just stay home. Whether it's for a mental-health day or a real illness, it's just not that easy. I spent about three hours in my classroom this afternoon getting sub plans ready. That's right - in order to miss five hours of instruction, it took three hours of my Sunday afternoon. My favorite sub wasn't available, so I felt the need to be extra thorough in my preparations.

Now I subbed for a year when I first got my credential (the last time pink slips were being handed out left and right). It was damn hard work. Walking into a class where you don't know the kids, the rules or the routines made me very stressed. And it didn't help that a large percentage of the teachers left plans that were very hard to follow. (Some didn't leave plans at all, but there's a special place in hell waiting for them.) It's difficult to write out directions without omitting some small but vital details that have become so old-hat to you that you completely forget to mention them. So I go out of my way to make sure my plans are as clear as possible and that everything the sub might need is laid out nice and neat where it cannot possibly be missed.

On the other end of this partnership are the subs themselves. Most do a decent to good job at this difficult task. And the fact that they're willing to sub at a middle school (I refused to go above 3rd grade when I was subbing) earns them bonus points before they've even crossed the starting line. But you just never know who is going to end up spending the day with your kids.

Last week I happened to be up in the office during my prep period and couldn't help but notice a flurry of activity - even more than the usual. Turns out there was a fire in one of the classrooms. With a sub. The regular teacher had a floor lamp in her room (which you may recall was one of the clever ideas tossed about in a previous round of "how to make your students achieve" - make your classroom homey and comfortable by brining in lamps, hanging up curtains, etc.) This particular lamp was the kind with the bowl-shaped lighting fixture at the top of the pole. Apparently a student threw in a crumpled-up paper wad that proceeded to catch on fire.

The sub immediately called the front office (good!), and the custodian and principal set off running toward the classroom. The custodian arrived first and was surprised (shocked?) to find that the students were all still in the classroom (bad!). He proceeded to evacuate the students from the room, something the sub had failed to realize was an important thing to do.

This is why I am never truly at ease when there's a sub in my room. What if my kids burn up in a fire because the sub was too clueless to get them out? How could I ever live with the guilt? (Please note the sarcasm here. Well, at least a little sarcasm.)

Last year I went out to get the morning paper and fell off my porch. (This lack of coordination probably explains why I'm not a PE coach.) I was flat out on the ground for about 20 minutes before I could grit my teeth, sit up and scoot myself backwards on my butt into my house. (In case you're wondering, I had broken my left foot, severely sprained my left ankle and dislocated my right knee.) After dragging myself across the livingroom and diningroom floor - for once glad that I had such a small house - I managed to pull myself up onto a chair and reach the phone. And my first call? The sub desk, of course! It was already 6:30 AM - very late to be trying to get a sub for the day. No time to waste!

Luckily my laptop was still out and on the diningroom table. I propped my foot up on another chair and immediately started working on sub plans. After a little while I called a friend at her work to see if she would be able to take me to the emergency room. She said she would rush right over, but I told her not to hurry - it was going to take me at least another hour to get my plans done. And so I sat there, writing out my carefully detailed plans, as my lower limbs turned ugly shades of purple and swelled up to an alarming size.

Fortunately this happened on a Thursday. I stayed home Friday as well and was further blessed with a well-timed three-day weekend. (Hooray for Presidents' Day!) But come Tuesday, despite doctor's orders to stay off my feet, I was back at work with a knee brace and one of those boot-cast thingies - and a walker, since I couldn't really put weight on either leg.

It was easier than doing sub plans.